Best Dad Tips: If your partner hasn't mentioned these books yet order them on Amazon and surprise her. She'll think you are the Best Dad ever!
We wanted to be the world's best parents. We went to all the baby classes the hospital offered. We thought we had it down, but we quickly realized that we had no idea what we were doing. The classes we took turned out to be about giving birth, not being parents. We spent the first nights soaking up all the information the nurses at the hospital could give us, but with each new day we were confronted with new problems. We did not spend any time reading about how to be parents, and you know what...that's okay!
We wanted to be the world's best parents. We went to all the baby classes the hospital offered. We thought we had it down, but we quickly realized that we had no idea what we were doing. The classes we took turned out to be about giving birth, not being parents. We spent the first nights soaking up all the information the nurses at the hospital could give us, but with each new day we were confronted with new problems. We did not spend any time reading about how to be parents, and you know what...that's okay!
Three weeks after Brandon was born, it was Christmas, which in my family means that everyone gets together for five days of 24-hour family time. My sister, who is the most organized planner of the family, was very polite but couldn't help giving advice. (Probably because we told her we had no idea what we were doing, which was true). Being a planner herself, she thought the best thing for the baby was to get on a schedule. (More on that in a different post) She recommended we read three books. She gave us a synopsis, but we went ahead and bought the books, gave them a skim and went on with life. Here's what we learned:
The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg.
Tracy Hogg writes with a conversational style and it is easy to read. We only read the chapter on scheduling and we liked what she had to say. She says that babies want three things: to Eat, to be Active, and to Sleep. The trick is to get them to be able to do it predictably. She recommends that you do them in that order: Eat, Active, Sleep and when he sleeps then its time for You. She even has a neat acronym to help you remember: EASY. We liked what we learned from her book: basically if you go in order then you know what the baby wants, did he just wake up? Then he's hungry. Did he just eat? Then play with him. Is he grumpy after playing? Great! Swaddle him up and put him to sleep.
After we read our one chapter and talked to my sister, we came to the conclusion that we did this naturally and even though we didn't have a "Schedule" we did follow a pattern that worked for us and we were happy.
The Dream Feed by Jason Freedman
My sister swore that this book changed her life and so did a lot of our friends, but we didn't read it. We wanted to, but life got in the way, and because my wife wasn't going back to work we didn't feel the need to get Baby on the bottle. But it is a really cool idea and we tried it a few times and it worked!
The basic idea is that the mom gives baby his last feeding around 8:00-9:00pm. Then Mom goes to sleep. Dad stays up until around 11:00-Midnight and gives Baby a bottle while he is still asleep. It works because the bottle doesn't require very much work for Baby to get milk and so he doesn't wake up to feed. It is basically a "top off" so that Baby will sleep through the night.
Our Sleep by week without the Dream Feed:
Weeks 1-2: 2 hours
Weeks 3-7: 4 Hours
Weeks 8-10: 6 Hours
Week 11: 8 Hours!!!
Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp
They showed my sister the VHS of this at the hospital when her first baby was born 10 years ago and it made a big impression on her. We didn't buy the book, but we googled the author and watched a few video clips that really helped. This is all about getting your newborn to sleep. He suggests the "Five S System" which replicates the womb:
Swaddle-swaddle your baby to simulate the close quarters of the womb
Shhh- a loud shhh sound simulates the mother's heartbeat in the womb
Side- I'm not sure why but Baby passes out when you hold him on his side
Suck- We don't do this one because Baby won't take a pacifier, but the author says its good for newborns
Swing- Movement helps simulate the mother's movement during pregnancy. It doesn't need to be a huge swing a small bounce will do.
I use this "Five S System" almost every time I put him down. Sometimes I switch a podcast for the shhh, but I'm a podcast junkie.
I put the links up in case you haven't given birth yet or you are super ambitious and have time to read them. If your Partner hasn't heard of these bring it up and sound like a hero!
Tracy Hogg writes with a conversational style and it is easy to read. We only read the chapter on scheduling and we liked what she had to say. She says that babies want three things: to Eat, to be Active, and to Sleep. The trick is to get them to be able to do it predictably. She recommends that you do them in that order: Eat, Active, Sleep and when he sleeps then its time for You. She even has a neat acronym to help you remember: EASY. We liked what we learned from her book: basically if you go in order then you know what the baby wants, did he just wake up? Then he's hungry. Did he just eat? Then play with him. Is he grumpy after playing? Great! Swaddle him up and put him to sleep.
After we read our one chapter and talked to my sister, we came to the conclusion that we did this naturally and even though we didn't have a "Schedule" we did follow a pattern that worked for us and we were happy.
The Dream Feed by Jason Freedman
My sister swore that this book changed her life and so did a lot of our friends, but we didn't read it. We wanted to, but life got in the way, and because my wife wasn't going back to work we didn't feel the need to get Baby on the bottle. But it is a really cool idea and we tried it a few times and it worked!
The basic idea is that the mom gives baby his last feeding around 8:00-9:00pm. Then Mom goes to sleep. Dad stays up until around 11:00-Midnight and gives Baby a bottle while he is still asleep. It works because the bottle doesn't require very much work for Baby to get milk and so he doesn't wake up to feed. It is basically a "top off" so that Baby will sleep through the night.
Our Sleep by week without the Dream Feed:
Weeks 1-2: 2 hours
Weeks 3-7: 4 Hours
Weeks 8-10: 6 Hours
Week 11: 8 Hours!!!
Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp
They showed my sister the VHS of this at the hospital when her first baby was born 10 years ago and it made a big impression on her. We didn't buy the book, but we googled the author and watched a few video clips that really helped. This is all about getting your newborn to sleep. He suggests the "Five S System" which replicates the womb:
Swaddle-swaddle your baby to simulate the close quarters of the womb
Shhh- a loud shhh sound simulates the mother's heartbeat in the womb
Side- I'm not sure why but Baby passes out when you hold him on his side
Suck- We don't do this one because Baby won't take a pacifier, but the author says its good for newborns
Swing- Movement helps simulate the mother's movement during pregnancy. It doesn't need to be a huge swing a small bounce will do.
I use this "Five S System" almost every time I put him down. Sometimes I switch a podcast for the shhh, but I'm a podcast junkie.
I put the links up in case you haven't given birth yet or you are super ambitious and have time to read them. If your Partner hasn't heard of these bring it up and sound like a hero!
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